Sailing the Rhone

November 19, 2025

A quick ride to the airport and Teresa and I are on the way to France to shop for next year’s travel offerings for our growing travel business, Teremar Travel.

And by quick I mean an hour and a half mostly stuck on the freeway downtown in an Uber. It is Atlanta afterall and rush hour. An hour nowadays that lasts 24.

First stop, Amsterdam. Then a change of planes to Lyon. On the shopping list for next year, villas and barges.

Bon voyage!


November 20, 2025

Travel is an adventure. And like all adventures, surprises happen. So, our flight to Lyon got canceled and now we are scrambling around trying to figure out how to get there before our boat leaves the port. The ever helpful Dutch immigration officer suggested getting bicycles.

Bedankt, dude!

Since we’re going to be at the airport all day, it’s time to find a bicycle store.


November 21, 2025

By planes, trains, automobiles, Ubers, not-Ubers, taxis and walking (but no bikes) we finally reached our destination last night. The riverside dock in Lyon on the Rhone River.

Today, we will explore the area and our home for the next week, the riverboat “AmaKristina”. Outside it’s overcast with a light snow falling.


November 21, 2025

We spent the day touring Lyon. Our guide, Jacque “Pierre” Pierre, a native Lyonnais, led the way up river as snow flakes fell from the gray morning sky.

Crossing the Rhone, we entered the medieval city center. Pierre gave a brief overview.  Lyon is the second largest city in France; it has the second largest medieval district in the world; it has the second largest open city square in Europe.

So, it turns out that Lyon is the Chicago of France. The “Second City”. A place with a permanent inferiority complex as an identity. And like Chicago, it’s great.

Pierre led us down the narrow medieval streets and stopped in front of a large wooden door. He pushed it open and asked us to follow. This was part of “les traboules”. Secret passageways, alleys and tunnels dating back hundreds of years and most recently used by the French resistance in their successful battles against the Nazis.

He proudly explained that Klaus Barbie, a Nazi SS Officer and the notorious “Butcher of Lyon” was captured in 1987 living in Bolivia and returned to Lyon where he was tried for his crimes in front of the nearby Palace of Justice and found guilty. He was sentenced to life in prison.

For that, Lyon is number one, not number two, in their diligence at fighting Nazism.

Sadly, still, an ongoing struggle.

After five more miles of march march marching across Lyon and it’s very big city center square, we returned to our boat, the AmaKristina, glad to take a rest.

These older legs are beginning to feel these long hikes.


November 22, 2025

A bright blue sky and cold air greeted us as we headed out in the morning to Oingt for the Beaujolais Nouveau Festival. Since this is France, guess what’s for breakfast? Wine, but of course.

Oingt (pronounced “WAH” in French and not “OINKED” as it looks in English) is a small village in the center of the Beaujolais District about 20 miles west of Lyon and likely close to the Champagne District, apparently, since all the highways had signs with arrows pointing to Champagne in the opposite direction.

The Beaujolais Nouveau wine just got released 3 days ago and it becomes a good reason to party and drink wine, as if the French ever needed one.

For the uninitiated, Beaujolais Nouveau is wine from this year’s grapes harvested two weeks ago and then fermented for a couple of days and then bottled. It’s released annually on the third Thursday of November and it’s as green as a wine can get. It’s actually pretty good. Every year, though, it has a different taste.

It’s been a tradition for a long time and used to be a big deal in America when, once the wine was available, it would be flown supersonically on the Concorde to America, two hours away, so New York oenophiles could join in on the fun. It’s a good wine for Thanksgiving too, just another week away.

The wine doesn’t age well so it must be consumed quickly. Not a problem if you ask me.

We pulled into the parking lot at Domaine De Fond-vieille, a winery known for its Beaujolais. Mascot, the wineries dog diplomat, met us and barked excitedly nonstop, as if insisting that we follow him (like a scene out of a boozy Lassie) to the wine tasting rooms. Obligingly, we followed through the gravel lot dusted with snow.

Once inside, we saw several long tables with lots of people sampling the newly birthed wine. Teresa and I found two empty seats and were quickly presented with small wine glasses and then by an older gentleman pouring out the fresh Beaujolais.

Let me announce that this year’s crop is pretty good.

After sampling the winery’s other offerings, we wandered around checking out more goods for sale which ranged from raw oysters (no way … who knows where they come from and how they got to the middle of France) to chocolates (but of course).

Back outside, Mascot pushed a yellow rubber chicken for us to toss. He then led us to a toasty wood fire overlooked by a large wooden vat.

After warming up we headed back to Lyon and arrived just in time as the gangway to our boat was being lifted.

Another close call but we are back on board and sailing south to Vienne (not Vienna).

PS We never found Timmy or if he fell down a well. Not that we cared. And Mascot didn’t seem to care either.


November 23, 2025

Today is history day (or any other day of the week for that matter) in Vienne.

Vienne is 70 miles south of Lyon and, like Lyon, was built by the Romans. So it has layers and layers of history and ruins. A palimpsest of time. “You can’t dig in your garden without finding some ancient artifact”, our young guide glibly said.

Our first stop was a church (they’re everywhere here) on a hill overlooking the city and an ancient Roman amphitheater just below. One of seven hills around Vienne and likely the inspiration for the Roman’s site selection since Rome was built around seven hills too.

We enjoyed the view, briefly, since the temperature was in the 20s (Fahrenheit!) and with a strong wind blowing.

Back down the hill, our guide led us around the city center where ancient Roman ruins still stand mixed in with medieval buildings and newer (and admittedly uglier) architecture.

One Roman ruin has been converted to a playground. Its massive arches rising up and hinting at dramatic scenes long forgotten. Today, children play quietly beneath the ancient walls frozen in time. And of course the children are quiet because they’re frozen too. It’s 20 degrees outside! Why aren’t they warmly inside playing on their Nintendos.

Our next stop … the 1st Century Roman Temple of Augustus. It was visited by Thomas Jefferson in the 1700s and is officially recognized as the model for the entrances to the US Capitol. And given this temple’s tumultuous history, let’s hope it doesn’t serve as a model for America’s future.

Further down to the Rhone River our guide stopped in front of the local cathedral sitting on the river’s eastern bank. When it was built it was located in the Holy Roman Empire. The river was the border with France located on the western side.

This cathedral was the site of trials in the middle ages against the Knights Templar and, at the end of the trials, the order of knights was eliminated. Those knights not executed escaped to unknown locations and eventually became fodder for Hollywood’s fertile imagination.

Finally crossing the river, we arrived back at the boat, still freezing, and looked for the nearest blazing fireplace. Sadly, river boats do not yet offer roaring fireplaces. That may be something left for future history to create.


November 24, 2025

It’s Monday morning and we have docked in Tournon after traveling south from Vienne and passing through several locks. Across on the other side of the Rhone is Hermitage Hill, a famous vineyard in continual operation since the crusades 1,000 years ago and the birthplace of the Syrah grape.

What’s for breakfast you ask? You should know by now since this is France it’s wine. And chocolate as well.

We headed to the local wine shop conveniently located across the street in a castle called Le Trou du Château de Tournon.

Along the way we passed a statue of a man named Marc Seguin looking very much like Edward Scissorhands. It turns out he is the inventor of the suspension bridge of which the Brooklyn Bridge and the Golden Gate Bridge are examples. Let’s hear it for the engineers.

Once at the castle, we were greeted by a sommelier who took us up to a high stone patio that overlooked the small city and vine covered hills. The Hermitage Hill rose on the opposing shore.

He gave a brief talk about the local history and took us back down to the tasting room in the cellar.

He and an assistant gave a very detailed presentation about wines, chocolates and how they should be paired. The French are obviously very obsessed with their wines and no detail, no matter how small or sublime, should be ignored.

The wine samples and chocolates were excellent but at the end of the day I still feel like all I really know about wine is whether it’s a screw top or corked wine and I still couldn’t tell you what wine goes with Poptarts for breakfast.

So much to learn.


November 24, 2025

We left early for our next stop and curiosity always wins. Just how is this river boat going to fit under that bridge with the water level so high?


November 24, 2025

Our boat stopped at Viviers at 9 PM for a night walking tour of this medieval city. Now almost abandoned during the cold winter weather, we climbed up silent wet cobblestone streets to a church perched high on a rocky outcropping for a violin concert. Back now on board, we depart at midnight and cruise all night to our next destination, Avignon.


November 25, 2025

Early morning docked in Avignon after sailing all night. We did not arrive in time so we are tied up to another riverboat that is dockside and we will disembark through that boat’s lobby. Meanwhile, while we were asleep and snug in our berth, the Christmas elves visited our lobby.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Shipmas.


November 25, 2025

Crossing through the fortress walls, Teresa and I followed our French guide towards the “Palace of the Popes” through the streets of Avignon, busy with morning activities. A calm and clear blue sky and warming temperatures made a perfect compliment.

The palace was the headquarters for the Roman Catholic church during the 1300s. They relocated to Avignon on the far western edge of the Holy Roman Empire because there was a civil war going on in Rome and the French King, living in his kingdom next door, was buttering the popes up with the hopes of taking over the papacy.

It worked.

For about 100 years, all new popes were French. Quelle coïncidence!

The palace that temporarily replaced the Vatican in Rome is now a tourist destination and a museum of contemporary art. And, since the French Revolution of the late 1700s, all churches and church properties are owned by the French government. Sacre bleu!

So, to generate income, France rents the churches back to the Catholic Church (for a discounted rate we hear) or uses them, as in this case, for arts and culture.

After the French Revolution, churches were originally converted to “Temples of Reason” to promote science and atheism but, being human, that didn’t last long and the French soon realized they could make big bucks doing what they are doing now and keeping the wheels of the economy running smoothly. Well, that’s reasonable if you ask me so mission partly accomplished.

We saw various rooms of the pope’s daily life from the kitchen to the bedrooms to the dressing rooms and finally to the French version of the Sistine Chapel sans Michelangelo. It was in this big room that the Papal Enclaves were held when new popes were interviewing for the job.

Eventually the popes got homesick (and tired of living next to the French) so they moved back to Rome.

Still today, though,  there is a working church named St. Peter’s Basilica (not cathedral as that one is still in Rome) so some things never change.

BTW, devotional candles are on sale, this week only, for 5 Euros. Hurry now while supplies last.


November 25, 2025

Well, there’s an afternoon event I’ve never done before. Hunting for truffles.

We climbed aboard a bus in Avignon and headed to Uzès in western Provence and stopped at a “truffle plantation”. There, we met with the owner Michel and his dog, Mela.

Michel’s farm is 12,000 acres of rows of Acorn, Linden and Hazelnut trees. During his presentation, Michel explained that truffles grow in very small areas of France, Spain and Italy. A truffle is the fruit grown by an underground mushroom that lives symbiotically with a few trees like oak trees. The fruit is ready to harvest in mid November and takes 9 months to grow. So this year’s crop is just being harvested.

Since the truffle grows underground, they need an animal to hunt for it and find it by smell. Pigs can be used but when they find one, they will eat it before it can be harvested. So, they use dogs and Michel’s black lab is named Mela.

Back outside, we headed to the orchards. Mela began whirling around like a dervish and bolted off in pursuit of the treat rewarding smells. Suddenly, the dog stopped and began sniffing the ground. He stopped for a few seconds and then began digging furiously.  Michel ran after Mela and called out in French. Catching up, Michel dropped to his knees and began digging with an axe. He found a pricey black nugget. Holding it up in his hand, he said it was worth over $100. At this time of year, a truffle brings him $500 per pound.

After 30 minutes, the hunt was over and several more truffles were found. We headed back to the main office where Michel weighed today’s find. 496 grams. Over a pound. More than $500. Not a bad haul for spending 30 minutes with a hyperactive lab.

In the tasting room we sampled several types of truffles and enjoyed bread with truffle butter paired with a local white wine. Apparently,  truffles don’t age well and should be consumed in less than half a year.

After the tasting, we headed back to Avignon. The setting sun illuminated the surrounding farm fields.


November 26, 2025

It’s Wednesday and we’ve arrived in Arles near the mouth of the Rhone as it meets the Mediterranean Sea. It’s our last day on board our river boat, the AmaKristina, and tomorrow we depart for places known and unknown.

Docked adjacent to another riverboat, we exited through its coupled lobby to the riverbank where we met our guide who would be showing us the locations of the scenes of Arles’ most famous resident’s paintings created by Impressionistic painter Vincent Van Gogh.

The weather conditions were normal for this time of year with the air cold, skies sunny and bright blue and a variable wind blowing from the north at 30 MPH gusting to 60 MPH. Another Chicago for France. Le Windy City.

Our guide explained the weather is so notorious for Arles that they named it “le mistral”. When Van Gogh arrived from Paris by train in the late 1800s, he immediately hated the place due to le mistral and complained in letters to his friends back home that the place was going to make him lose his mind. He never mentioned anything about that ear though.

We sailed into town walking as slowly as we could go which means it was a quick journey. We blew through a farmer’s market (only available on Wednesdays and Saturdays), strapped down for security, and whirled through a city gate in the fortified walls of this ancient Roman city.

Behind the city walls, things were much calmer with a mild constant breeze of 25 MPH.

We passed by Van Gogh’s “yellow house”, the site of several of his most famous paintings both from the exterior and interior. The house is gone now, a victim of much needed bombings in WW2 by the Allies in successful attempts to rid the city of a bad case of the Nazis, and replaced now by a Kentucky Fried Chicken blow-through chain. Comme ci, comme ça.

We passed by the city’s Roman Coliseum still in use today and occasionally offering bull fights, weather permitting, and wound up at the city’s hospital called “Hotel Dieu”. That’s right, folks, the hospital is named “God’s Hotel”. I can’t say that that’s a ringing endorsement for its staff or patients. Nonetheless, it is the site of another of Van Gogh’s famous paintings, “Garden of the Hospital in Arles”. And it’s the place Van Gogh ended up after a neighbor saw him with blood coming out of the former location of his right ear.

He survived that experience and skipped town with an unpaid balance on his “hotel bill” probably due to a large bar tab. He was found sometime later after committing suicide by shooting himself in the back 10 times. Officials described the circumstances surrounding his death as mysterious. But, I suspect, it might have something to do with a hotel owned by God.

You can check in but you can never leave.


November 27, 2025

Teresa and I checked out of our luxury river boat, home for the last week, the AmaKristina, and climbed to the top of the ramp streetside. There, a couple of taxis waited. We hopped in the first and I said, in my best French, “Côté est du Colisée”.

The driver looked at me and said in perfect English, “Show me on the map”. Apparently, my French is rusty and besides, almost everybody we meet in France speaks English. We’ve never had a problem.

Pulling up next to the Coliseum (east side) in Arles, the driver stopped and, after paying the fare (and tipping … we are Americans afterall) we headed to the house Teresa found to rent, which will be our home for the next couple of days as we meet some travel vendors in Provence.

The place is nice with a rooftop patio overlooking the Coliseum and in the shadow of the Notre Dame church. It seems every church in France is named Notre Dame.

Now, after warming up for a bit (it’s still cold but not as windy as yesterday), we are heading out to the Hertz car rental agency and then to the local supermarket.

Adventure awaits!


November 27, 2025

Teresa and I quickly settled into our new domestic life onshore in Arles. The strong “le mistral” picked up and blew more cold air into the sunny city.

A few quick stops on our way to the supermarket; Hertz Rental for tomorrow’s meetings, lunch at a French version of fast food, and a quick tour thru an empty Coliseum.

Almost everything in this old section of Arles is closed. Tourist season must be during the summer and warmer months only. It’s nice, though, with the place almost empty and to ourselves.

The supermarket was busier. A short 15-minute walk to a mini-Walmart style business with food, clothes and other goods. A noticeable difference being the requirement that all bags had to be inspected before leaving. Theft must be pretty bad here.

We picked up some things for our Thanksgiving dinner of cheese, crackers and wine. Turkeys are not part of the scene here. But truffles are.

On our way back home, we did a self-tour of the Coliseum across the street. It was empty except for a gang of cats. Gladiators reincarnated from past incredible histories.

Back home we turned up the heat and sat in the sun to warm up.

Happy Thanksgiving!


November 28, 2025

Sunrises here can be spectacular. No wonder the Romans picked this spot for their entertainment venues.


November 28, 2025

It’s Black Friday here in the south of France and a long day shopping for real estate for Teremar Travel’s 2026-2027 adventure offerings.

We picked up our rental car from Hertz and headed out to the heart of Provence to a small village called Eygalières. Traffic was light as we sailed thru hundreds of roundabouts. The rental, a brand new Renault, beeped nonstop warning us we were exceeding the speed limit. OMD, they drive slow in France!

The road to the center of Eygalières was blocked. Our prearranged meeting spot was in the village center, but a festival today necessitated closure of the roads.

We parked in a free dirt parking lot and hoofed it in from there.

Our real estate agent, a Brit by the name of Eric, met us behind a row of hedges.  He apologized for the bustle in the hedgerow and asked us to follow him.

Soon, after climbing several stairways in Heaven, we arrived at our first villa. A classical stone Provençal villa overlooking groves of olive trees with a backdrop of purpled mountains.

It was like a Hollywood movie scene. Beautiful with an azure pool and tall green conical cypress trees. A bocci ball court suggested warm summer parties to come.

The villa property consisted of several out-buildings and had enough accommodations to house more than a dozen guests.

We saw several more properties in the region each unique and beautiful ranging from a very large, gated estate to an historic villa built in 1755 in the heart of a village at the foot of Mont-Ventoux, its summit treeless and now snowcapped.

It will be a tough decision but someone has to make it.


November 29, 2025

We are on the long journey back to Atlanta. But first, we have to get to the airport. In Paris. 500 miles away. So, the quickest way is by train on the TGV. It’s a two-hour ride from Marseille 50 miles south of Arles.

To get to Marseille, we caught the local train, The Zou. And to get to the train station we ordered an Uber from our Arles apartment.

The Uber driver showed up 10 minutes late. I think we woke him up. Watching him maneuver on the Uber app showed him not moving for 15 minutes. It was probably parked outside the driver’s home waiting for the driver to get dressed. Once underway, it went on a completely different route than the shortest one shown on Uber. Very likely due to one way streets and pedestrian only streets that both Uber and Google Maps frequently show incorrectly.

Finally at the Arles station, we found it fully engaged in renovations, all walls covered in visqueen. And the signs too. Fortunately, we were 30 minutes early so we eventually found our way to the correct platform. In a short while our Zou train arrived, much worse for the wear.

A 45-minute ride brought us to the Marseille main train station, stopping beforehand at the international airport, where we found a departure schedule sign showing what platform to go to. It was platform F nearby.

Our TGV train arrived and everyone started to board. Teresa and I of course were on the wrong end of the train and scrambled to find our car. Teresa told me we were in Car 2 from her ticket. But, as we rushed to the front of the train we noticed every car was marked the same with a large number 2 next to the car’s doors.

We climbed aboard one car to find it packed with absolutely no room for any more luggage. Or people. Then we found our seats occupied by somebody already. Clearly, we were in the wrong car and the TGV is not like a regular train where you can go from car to car. Each car is completely sealed off. Probably due to the train’s speed of 250 mph. Half an airliner’s speed and not one to get caught in between cars.

So we hopped back off and finally found a TGV conductor who pointed us to the right car. We boarded within a minute of taking off. Fortunately, there was extra room for luggage and bigger seats. It was 1st class at the front of the train.

No where on the train tickets was there any indication of where to go or what car to board. Sometimes you have to wing it. Another mystery to solve for another day.

This is part of travel in foreign countries. While flying is universally similar no matter where you go, and subways are generally and similarly easy to navigate, trains seem to have their own country specific details and can be more challenging.

Anyways, we are Paris bound at 250 mph at an elevation of 10 feet. Now, if I can just figure out how to open this bottle of water.


November 29, 2025

We arrived in Paris at the Gare de Lyon train station after a quick trip on the TGV. Hailing a taxi, we made it to our hotel in the 16th Arrondissement. A light rain started to turn heavy.

As darkness fell, we headed to the hotel lobby to grab an Uber for dinner at a restaurant called the Buddha-Bar located a couple of blocks from the Élysées Palace, the home of the President of France.

The Buddha-Bar restaurant offers Asian cuisine mixed with an abundance of pretense in a city built on pretension and overseen by a 20′ tall statue of Buddha demanding you answer his koans so he can place your order and move onto the next table.

Now I know what the sound of one hand eating is.

The drinks were great and so were the Szechuan Dumplings. And the soundtrack was awesome.

After dinner, we walked to the nearest Metro station passing by the French White House surrounded by heavily armed yet oh-so-fashionably dressed security guards. Yves Saint Laurents bearing Uzis.

Back at our hotel, we turned around to gaze at the Eiffel Tower glittering across the river, its light beacon sweeping thru the misty sky like some all-seeing third eye.


November 30, 2025

Sunday in Paris and a day to see the sites. The rain from yesterday blew out and the morning, cloudy, cleared up with a bright blue sky and chilly fall temperatures.

Our first stop was the Louvre where we met our guide at 9 AM. A young professional French licensed guide named William, he enthusiastically guided us past growing lines of tourists waiting outside for the museum opening.

He led us to the highlights including Venus de Milo and the Mona Lisa. It was a quick tour, only three hours long, and it barely touched on the range of art and historical artifacts housed in this massive museum. Hiring a guide was well worth it, not only for the early access to the museum but also for his knowledgeable narrative providing insights that might be missed otherwise.

By noon, we headed to lunch on nearby Île de la Cité where the recently renovated Notre Dame Cathedral is located.

After lunch, we headed to the Notre Dame Cathedral in hopes of getting inside to view the incredible sanctuary. While reservations are recommended, they’ve been unavailable since the cathedral opened a year ago. However, you can go inside without reservations as there is general access as long as you are willing to wait in line.

There’s the problem. By early afternoon, Paris was swamped with locals and tourists. A sunny afternoon and everyone was out. And the line to get inside looked like it had more than a hundred people waiting. We’ve been inside the cathedral several times before, so we skipped it and took the Metro subway to our favorite bar, Les Deux Magots.

The bar, a favorite of Ernest Hemingway, is a great place to sit outside and watch the Paris show.  And the subway station is close so it’s easy to get to.

Now approaching 3 o’clock, we finished our wines and jumped back on the subway to our hotel.

<CUE SCARY DRAMATIC MUSIC>

To get back to the hotel, we had to change subway lines near another popular tourist destination called Montparnasse Tower.

We got to the connecting train platform and waited. And waited. A crowd of people started to grow. We waited. More people showed up and filled the platform. A cheerful “Ding Dong” sound preceded an ominous sounding announcement (as if Teresa and I could understand French).

But we could notice when several hundred people simultaneously headed to the exits. Looking at the announcement board overhead, I used Google Translate to discover that the subway line was broken and out of service until further notice.

As some of the last hopeful transients still gawking at the announcement board, we turned around and headed back to the street. Now crowded with hundreds of jilted riders. All of them staring at their cell phones.

I decided to order an Uber and pulled out my phone from my coat pocket. It was hot to the touch. Apparently, all the other cell phones were blasting the cell phone towers and my phone, in an attempt to make a connection, was screaming as loud as possible and burning up the battery which now showed at 10% capacity.

I got Uber to load and entered our hotel’s address. Uber started to find a driver. It couldn’t. It would find one and then drop it. Another and another. 15 minutes passed on the now late Sunday sidewalk getting colder and colder in the setting sun.

Finally a driver was found that would accept us. Taxis passed by with their rooftop lights in red showing unavailability. The Uber fare had doubled in that time and a $20 fare was now $40.

Our driver showed up on my cell phone screen inching his way to our destination in the now suddenly heavy traffic. He was approaching from the opposite direction meaning he would have to turn around to pick us up at our spot agreed to on the map.

I spotted his white Toyota and waved my arms. He pulled over to the curb on the other side of the busy multi-lane street and stopped. Then suddenly someone hopped into his back seat and he took off. SACRE BLEU! Someone stole our Uber!

I went back to my Uber app and picked “cancel ride”. Uber prompted back, “are you sure?” I clicked “cancel ride” again and my toaster hot phone turned off. Dead. After only 8 hours of battery usage.

SACRE BLEU BLEU! (Now I know where our parrot gets it from).

Teresa and I went inside the bar we were standing in front of. Observation: they have almost as many bars in Paris as they have churches.

Inside we assessed our situation. We had no paper map to navigate back to the hotel. The subway system was out. Taxis were full. My phone was dead after only a few hours of usage. And we had two glasses of wine to consume.

Then we both remembered that Teresa’s iPhone was still working and had Uber on it. So, we finished our wine and 15 minutes later stepped out to a calmer street scene and ordered another ride.

In a short 5 minutes, Jacques showed up in his black Renault and ferried us back to our hotel, through very heavy traffic, none worse for the wear.

Some Additional Observations:

1. Always take a backup charger with you along with a charging cable. We all rely on cell phones for everything these days.

2. It’s probably a good idea to carry a paper map.

3. And be sure someone else has a phone that’s still working.

4. Remember, travel is an adventure. Be ready for detours and have fun. Plans fall apart sometimes.

AND THE FINAL UBER INSULT:

We got charged $10 for canceling our hijacked Uber ride.


December 1, 2025

Teresa and I woke to the sound of explosions. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. Outside our hotel room window, we could see the top of a garbage truck lifting a dumpster and banging it on the truck’s top to empty the contents. It was 6 AM. And our room was on the second floor.

Welcome to Monday morning rush hour in Paris. The beginning of a new work week. And garbage day. Remember to put your herbie-curbie curbside. And watch out for the wheel to wheel bicycle traffic.

In an hour we were outside the hotel front door heading to Carette, a coffee and croissant shop our “Uber Savior” from yesterday evening pointed out and recommended on our ride back. “Carette. Very good”, he said in broken French.

The place was close. Two blocks away on the Trocadero roundabout.

It was still dark outside. This time of year the sun doesn’t rise until after 8.

As we approached Carette we saw on either side well lit cafes that were open but empty. Carette, however, was packed. Full of tourists. “Suspicious”, I thought. “Surely the taxi cab drivers wouldn’t be incentivized to point the place out”.

Once seated, we ordered coffee and croissants. In a short while, a waiter brought our order and put the highly touted huge croissants (the size of a small dog) on our table.

“Yep, incentivized”, I said. They were nothing special and neither was the coffee. Our hotel has better for both.

But what WAS special, though, was the cafe’s location. Outside the window, across the roundabout, was the Palais de Chaillot, the first home of the United Nations. And it sits on a hill overlooking the Eiffel Tower. And the sky was turning bright pink.

“Let’s hurry and pay up”, I told Teresa. “The sun is coming up and it looks like the sunrise is going to be spectacular”.

All paid, we stepped outside in the cold air and growing light. A line now formed outside the door. A dozen more taxi cab riders waited for a table. Both cafes on either side of Carette sat empty but brightly lit.

We rushed through a couple of crosswalks and climbed the steps to the terrace separating the wings of the Palais.

Stopping, we stared to the east. There in front of us was the Eiffel Tower silhouetted by a blazing yellow sunrise and reflected in the polished stones of the terrace.

La vie en rose.


December 1, 2025

Our last full evening in Paris before our return flight and we decided to spend it in a most Parisian way. We went shopping. We went to the opera. And we went to the bar.

Our first stop was the Lafayette Galeries. An enormous store in north central Paris. The French version of Harrod’s in London or Macy’s in New York. It seems to cover several city blocks.

Exiting the subway station, we emerged to packed sidewalks decorated with Christmas lights. “It’s Cyber Monday”, I thought to myself. “Isn’t everyone supposed to be shopping from home?”

We stopped to look at the very creative window displays, some animated. Approaching a set of entrance doors, we found them locked and chained. The same for the next few entrances. We finally found doors that were open at the far corner of the building.

Entering, we found the same extremely crowded conditions. A conga line of shoppers. It amazed me that the other doors we locked and chained. A terrible setup if there was an emergency.

Inside the store the aisles were narrow. On either side and throughout were high priced luxury goods. Gucci, Hermes, Dior, all of them. And a conga line of shoppers pushing forward.

We eventually found our way to the the central atrium, known for it’s holiday displays and took a few photos. It was quite a scene.

Feeling overwhelmed by the crowds we headed back outside to the equally crowded sidewalks. We had a tour scheduled soon for the nearby opera house and headed that direction, two blocks away.

The opera house, Palais Garnier, is technically the “old opera house” built in the 1800s. There were older opera houses, but they all managed to burn down likely due their wood frame construction and use of candles for lighting. The Palais Garnier is built from stone.

Apparently, this opera house is the setting for “The Phantom of the Opera” which our guide made note of several times during our visit.

After our tour, we headed to the bar. Nearby was an old Hemingway favorite called Harry’s Bar. The sister bar to the one in Venice. What better way to end a long day on foot than to toast our favorite traveling companion, Ernest Hemingway, who always seems to predict our next destination.

And, of course, Hemingway was right. Paris IS a moveable feast.

Running with the Bulls from France to Spain and Back Again

“Where would you like to go for our 20th anniversary?”, Teresa said. “Someplace nice”, I said. So here we are on the way to Nice. France. On the rue again.

July 6, 2019

After sleeping for 20 minutes on the flights to Nice and spending an hour doing a walk around to document all the scratches and dents in our Super Sized SUV rental, Teresa and I headed to the north and bleary eyed up into the mountains. A couple of hundred round-abouts later, we decided to take a stop in a little village where absolutely nobody speaks English to have lunch. I think I just ordered pigs feet soup. Anticipation has perked me up.

We continued heading north into the mountains for a drive thru of what is referred to as the “French Grand Canyon”. Gorges du Verdon. The road winds along the edge of the canyon with steep rock walls, sometimes overhanging the road, and a sheer drop off without a guard rail on the other side. And narrow enough sometimes for only one vehicle. Apparently France must have a shortage of lawyers. The road finally climbs up out of the canyon into farm fields. Filled with tourists. Gawking at fields of lavender. I must say it is beautiful though. At least the lavender part is.

July 7, 2019

Spent the day visiting Provence. Visiting little villages built on hillsides and driving thru fields of sunflowers, lavender and wheat. Like being in a Van Gogh painting. And by “driving thru” I mean it. Literally. Since this is the 21st century, we use Google Maps to navigate. And by thru, I mean thru. Somehow Google prefers to direct you thru every 3 foot wide goat path and farm field to get you to your destination. Even when there is a major highway nearby. At least it makes for an interesting journey. And Google must get a kick out of this as well. But of course.

Lunch in Les Baux-de-Provence. Two shrimp, $40. Life in the good lane ain’t cheap.

July 8, 2019

So we finally made it to Millau, a center of manufacturing of leather goods in operation for 1,000 years. Located at the bottom of a large canyon/valley it is also home to one of the recent engineering wonders of the world, the Millau Viaduct completed in 2004. The surrounding terrain reminds me of central Texas … semi arid with scrub brush and cattle. Lots of cows and sheep. The home of French cowboys or in the lingua franca, “cou rouge”.

The city is filled with tourists seeking adventures like dirt bike riding, four wheeling, hang gliding, goofy golf, and, my favorite, zip lining on skate boards. I am not making that one up. Where Provence is all wine and cheese, Millau is beer and bread. At least it’s not Doritos. The only thing missing is gun shooting ranges and maybe we just haven’t stumbled across that yet.

After settling into our trailer (yes, we are in a trailer park) Teresa said we had to go to her favorite glove factory, Causse Gantier. After a little wallet lightening, we headed to the city center for libations at a sidewalk cafe. The oddballs that we are we ordered red wine. Everyone else, and I mean everyone, was drinking beer. We stood out like Provential Snobs. In the background could be heard the sounds of revving dirt bikes and squealing tires. I am on a mission now to learn how to say in French, “Hey y’all. Watch this!”

July 9, 2019

We left Millau and headed southwest towards our next destination, Andorra, the original chosen location for our European wedding vows one score of years ago. But, due to a number of un-annulleable Catholic crimes between us (both Teresa and I grew up Catholic), it turned out to be less than possible thus making Gibraltar, our number 3 pick, the lucky site of our blissful oaths.

The route took us out and over the viaduct and into verdant farm country filled with rolling fields of green and gold and camouflaged sheep pastures. This was clearly authentic French country and an area not frequented by tourists. Especially Catholic outlaw ones. After a couple of hours and an adventurous toilet break we made it to a freeway that would quickly take us the remaining distance. Wanting to avoid the customary two plus hour lunch ritual and in hopes of finding something other than duck and all of its associated parts to consume, we decided to give our familiar American chef, McDonald’s, a try after spotting a tiny army green sign with golden arches whiz by. We pulled over and parked with ease. They had a parking lot. A rare treat. Ordering was made easy by engaging with a wall sized touch sensitive flat screen menu filled with delicious looking pictographs. A quick swipe of a credit card and our order was placed. Printed instructions informed us we were number 34 and, after some mandatory confusion, figured out we were being instructed to sit at a booth where our order would be delivered. In a short amount of time (anything less than 2 hours in this country is considered brief) our familiar pictograph matching food arrived. The parent corporation would be happy to know that the food was consistent with our expectations and that the Big Mac (not actual French product name) did not taste like duck. However, the Coca-Cola did not at all taste like American Coke. It was way less sweet and almost bitter. Good for the French. Maybe they have rules limiting the amount of sugar that can be added. Nonetheless, the food was delicious, and let’s be honest, anytime your food is delivered with a French accent it’s just going to taste better anyways.

Back out on the freeway and up the mountains we continued our journey southward. We finally reached the border and were stopped, given a glance and waved on. One can never be too careful when Mexican illegal immigrants prowl our planet. We followed the heavy line of car and truck traffic further up the mountains of Andorra until, at a fork in the roundabout, Google commanded that we take the first exit. A road that no one else was on and that led to a brand new tunnel. We paid a toll, which must be steep since no one else was anywhere in sight, and entered the passage under the mountain. After several miles we emerged into a different landscape. Switzerland. Or at least what looked like it. A huge green valley with little chalets clutching the mountain sides. A surprising and stunning change of scenery. Now, to find the local Catholic constabulary and taunt them.

July 10, 2019

With only one night in Andorra, we headed out early towards Spain and our next destination, Pamplona, where the St. Fermin Festival and running of the bulls is taking place all week. The drive, at six hours, is our longest on this voyage.

At the Spanish border crossing Google commanded us to take the left lane. A little too late I realized we took the red lighted “frisk us” left lane and not the green lighted “just go” left lane. Google chuckled. The surly Spanish guard signaled us to roll down the window and step out of our vehicle with our hands up. From what I could tell he was telling me to open the trunk. “Where are you going?”, he asked. “Pamplona!”, I said while wildly gesticulating and making a running motion with the fingers of my right hand while forming bull horns with my left, crashing the two together and then making screaming sounds to add realism. Generally, I would characterize his reaction as “un-bemused”. “How much money are you carrying?”, he asked. Thinking he’s probably looking for a “donation” I said, “very little”. A few more questions about liquor and cigarettes and a quick grope thru our suitcases and he sent us on our way after muttering “stupido” which didn’t quite sound like “thank you”.

Down the mountains we wove into the dry and dusty plains north of Zaragoza. In a couple of hours we arrived at our freeway entrance and floored it, heading west thru landscapes that looked like American western movies with occasional rocky out croppings and ancient fortresses or churches atop.

By mid afternoon we arrived in Pamplona. It was easy driving. The streets were empty. Until two blocks from our hotel at the edge of the old city. Roadblocks. The roads were filled with people dressed in white with red sashes and neckerchiefs. They paid no attention to me and my giant Super Sized SUV. They may have escaped being gored by bulls but they would never fare as well with me. The only thing missing was a pair of bull horns strapped to the hood. Ole! After some creative maneuvering and cutting off two “filled to the brim with cops” police vans we made it to a security checkpoint. A quick review of our credentials and we were sent on our way sans the customary salutation of “stupido”. Tomorrow morning, at sunrise, we run.

July 11, 2019

The Saint Fermin Festival goes on all week in Pamplona. It’s the type of festival where drinking doesn’t start in the morning because drinking never stops. There is no beginning and there is no end. A combination of Mardi Gras and Carnivale that only the Spanish can perfect in all its chaos and fervor. The morning starts with the daily running of the bulls.

Followed by chaos and occasional light bouts of chaos. And of course drinking. Groups or clubs form spontaneously for all sorts of reasons and parade around the narrow streets. Singing groups. Tuba groups. Hopping trombone groups. Flag waving groups. Name it. I’m glad I don’t understand the language. To my ears it sounds like a bunch of sparrows chirping at the top of their lungs (do sparrows have lungs?) and being drunk on fermented berries. This goes on pretty much all day and night reaching its zenith near midnight. There seems to be no or little food available. Certainly no restaurants with table service. Tapas only. And very limited. Of course the Spaniards are notoriously rigid about their eating rituals and always seem to not be eating when I would like or expect to be eating. Same for sleeping which I am beginning to suspect is not done at all. They all seem to know the rules and for me it is endlessly baffling.

The afternoon activities, aka parading about like a bunch of drunk canaries, is highlighted by a bull fight to which Teresa managed to get tickets. I hear the toreador today is supposed to be one of their super stars. I am hoping for a Britney Spears on horseback.

July 12, 2019

We left the craziness of Pamplona this morning, or tried to, for Bilboa, home to the Guggenheim museum by architect Frank Gehry. A toll was required to enter the freeway. After paying the toll, everyone was required to pull over for a DUI check. Located just outside Spain’s largest drinking party it was easy pickings for our boys in green. Like bears in a salmon filled river. After several attempts (apparently I wasn’t blowing hard enough) we were sent on our way and given the DUI Blow Nipple as a lasting souvenir of our Pamplona partying.

As we got closer to Bilboa the scenery changed from the rolling yellow dry plains (where in Spain rain obviously DOESN’T fall mainly) to blue green fir tree covered mountains looking like somewhere west of Seattle. The freeway exited a few blocks from our hotel located on a large roundabout in the city center. And, true to form, Bilboa presented unique challenges for the foreign driver. In this case traffic lighted intersections. It turns out each intersection has two traffic lighted signals. One for entering the intersection and one for exiting the intersection. And these lights are timed only for mayhem. And as an inspiration for vigorous horn honking. Oh, and to make certain only the quick and nimble pedestrians survive. After several close calls of every kind, we arrived to the hotel only to find that there was no where to pull over for parking (even though reservations for parking were made and paid for in advance).

As we passed the hotel I spotted a no parking zone and converted it to one. I got out of the car, leaving Teresa on guard, and ran to the hotel entrance. “Wow. What a nice hotel lobby”, I said to myself. Quiet and mature. Classical wood paneling from floor to ceiling. Like a Ritz-Carlton without the Ritz. Smelling of magnolias and camellias. I caught the attention of one of the uniformed staff members and explained my situation. He seemed to indicate that I would have to circle around the block and drive up over a curb nearby, drive down the sidewalk (pedestrian filled of course) and squeeze the giant SUV between two columns at the lobby entrance slowly while preferably not yelling “Allahu Ackbar” whilst doing so. Upon the successful following of the directions and wedging the car into the hotel entrance blocking all passage, we checked in.

July 13, 2019

In the early morning we left Bilbao and headed out to the Basque coast straddled by the border of Spain and France. It is a short drive to San Sébastian, passing Guernica along the way. Guernica, the subject of one of Picasso’s most famous paintings, was the location of an aerial attack on civilians by the Fascists in 1937 during the Spanish Civil War. The painting served as inspiration for American liberals who volunteered to fight before the start of the world war.

The freeway wove down the mountains to the coast. When it wasn’t weaving it was turning. The speed limit changed every kilometer. One moment it was 120. The next 80. And signs everywhere indicated radar was used for enforcement. That seemed to have no effect on a subset of drivers who all passed me going easily 200. And mostly VWs and not the bug kind. Some sort of sleek and obnoxiously fast kind. Bugs with monster wheels.

We pulled off at the San Sébastian exit and headed to the city center where traffic at that hour of the morning was light. A sign for parking was spotted and we headed underground to find a spot. The giant SUV struggled to squeeze between the decks, easily only 6 feet tall, scraping it’s antenna along the way. We shoe-horned into the first parking space we found, accomplishing it with a graceful 20 point turn.

Popping up street side we headed out to find the local Le Waffle House. After a couple of donuts and coffee I was feeling like an American again. Chocolate covered and not a duck in sight. San Sébastian is supposed to be a hoity toity place but I found it to be a few shades short of chic. In need of a good street sweeping in the least. The city is built around an azure bay with hills on both sides of the harbor entrance looking like padded shoulders. A skulling race was underway. We stood on the seawall and watched.

In a while we decided to head on to our next seaside village, St. Jean de Luz, France’s answer to Panama City Beach. After 30 minutes of driving we came to a stop in bumper to bumper traffic. It’s the weekend. It’s vacation month for the entirety of France and it’s their 4th of July weekend, tomorrow being Bastille Day. We found an “above ground” parking lot but mercifully every spot was full. I did not want to reveal to Teresa that I have been lying to her all these years about my powers of levitation as that is the only way the SUV could have fit into an available space were one found. The idea of exploring the village was abandoned and we headed up the beach front road, our motel only 10 minutes away according to Google.

We arrived at our motel to find a parking LOT with a few open spaces. A short series of docking maneuvers later and we headed inside to check in. Outside in the back was a patio restaurant and a large beach, mildly inhabited. So, after a quick British lunch of fish and chips without the peas (everyone thinks we’re British because Americans never come here … or it could be our very white skin unblemished by sunlight) we prepare to head out to explore the beach and touch the water to see if it is above freezing. Tomorrow, heads roll.

July 14, 2019

It’s Bastille Day and we are heading to the large city of Bordeaux this morning. Happy July 4th, France! From my understanding (which is very limited … feel free to suggest revisions everywhere) this day is celebrated as the beginning of the French Revolution and the storming of the Bastille Prison in Paris. Marie Antoinette stopped eating cake somewhere along this historic time frame. Remember, one must keep one’s head to eat one’s cake. Anyhoo, the French Revolution rolled along after this event and is the source of many wonders and a few terrible blow backs. Cults (atheists, aka the Cult of Reason, converted the Notre Dame cathedral to a Temple of Reason … ha ha, good luck with that), Calendars (and I always thought Thermador was just a refrigerator brand name) and Clocks (decimal time sounding so much like Star Trek) all resulted from the creative minds that brought you the Gillette brand 5 blade guillotine for a closer shave (I think that one’s made up but it’s always hard to tell when it comes to the French Revolution). There’s only so much French history you can explore before feeling the need to close the book, it’s just that wild. Eventually, the French settled down and became a stable republic after a few bad bouts of Napoleonitis. It seems that all social advancements must suffer extreme setbacks occasionally. I’m looking at you, America.

After a Bastille Day lunch in Bordeaux, and an exciting call from someone in Arles who found Teresa’s wallet which went gone after visiting the Van Gogh Museum, we headed to St. Emilion that lies at the heart of the wine vinting region.

As we drove thru a vineyard and pulled up to the hotel we could see this was no ordinary French HoJo but a castle or, as they call it around here, a chateau. Appearing like a scene out of the Beverly Hillbillies we pulled up to the entrance in our big and dusty SUV with suitcases strapped to the top sans Granny in a rocking chair. Stepping out as the uniformed attendant opened the door, I let out an audible “HooWheee” as I surveyed the scene. The only thing missing was banjo music.

After settling into our suite, Teresa announced she was heading to the cement pond while I prepared for a nap. As I glanced out of our balcony window I spotted a large truck rumbling down the pea gravel driveway with a sign that read, “Guillotines ‘R Us”. “Hmmm”, I said to myself. I wonder what that could be about.

Late in the afternoon we decided to drive into nearby St. Emilion for a quick dinner (quick?). Yellow orange setting sun, perfect lighting. In the village center plaza. Surrounded by tables of loud and obnoxious Scots. Loud.

July 15, 2019

Bastille Day night turned out to be a quiet affair. No fireworks or bottle rockets. Apparently celebrations for the holiday only happen in the big cities. In the morning we decided to drive around the area near St. Emilion to get an authentic taste of the French wine country. It was clear from the previous day’s visit that St. Emilion is a tourist trap. France’s imagining of Epcot’s imagining of France. Too idyllic and packed with tourists and trinket filled shops.

I laid out a route in Google Maps and let it do its thing, listening to the muted chuckles as Google calculated and schemed and found every deserted goat path for its plan. Soon we were sailing down rows of grape vines occasionally having to steer clear of the narrow farm tractors spraying the fields with fogs of chemicals. After passing a few villages we decided to try to find a place for coffee in the hope it would clear our heads from the Agent Orange haze we found ourselves in. We stopped at a deserted café and ordered a round. For me, espresso and for Teresa, Americano au lait.

Cafe au lait?

Soon we were on our way again. Google’s route eventually took us back to St. Emilion where we wedged the boat into an alley and, from our experiences in Arles, found our expertise at purchasing parking tickets from overly obtuse vending machines helpful in assisting some confused Brits in line from Norwich, one of whom when told of our visit years ago to my father’s WW2 airfield there, asked incredulously as to which side he fought for. “The winning side”, I said, and left it at that.

We spent the remainder of the day doing tourist things. Shopping, buying swizzle sticks, wine tasting and visiting the central church built underground in the 12th century. Serving as the entrance to over 200 acres of caves that lie under the entire city and are today (still) used as wine cellars due to their perfect temperature and humidity. I knew the priests loved their wine but, boy, this must have been a sweet gig when one got assigned here. But, alas, the French Revolution arrived and shut all that down and converted the underground church to a weapons factory due to the presence of saltpeter in the walls of the caves. Another victim of the Cult of Reason.

July 16, 2019

For our 20th anniversary lunch we have headed to the islands. The islands of France. Isle de Re. An easy drive but expensive. 40 bucks to cross the bridge. Our hotel, which is the only one I selected before hand for this trip, had appeared to be on the beach. At least that is what the website showed. In this case “beach” is apparently French for “mud flats” . Stinky, smelly mud flats. But, at least it is in keeping with the spirit of our honeymoon night where we found ourselves in a trailer on the beach in Spain near Gibraltar where we married. Nice place if you could somehow remove the 100 yards of cactus and cow filled pasture that separated the trailer from the beach. And from Life’s Lesson Learned, Chapter 27, it is ill advised to try to take a midnight swim bare footed.

After checking in, we headed to a nearby village where a farmer’s market was set up. Teresa shopped around while I spoke to one of the carnies. A young man from Argentina who spoke English since I don’t speak Argentinish. The conversation quickly turned to Trump when he learned I was from the US. I explained that all great countries have their down turns occasionally, comparing Trump to Napoleon, who I view as a dictator historically. “Ixnay on the Rumptay thing”, he said warning me that everyone in the area considers Napoleon to be a great general who would be much welcomed today. So, for the moment, I shall keep my pie hole shut.

In the afternoon we headed back to the mainland to visit nearby La Rochelle. A city noted for fishing and built around a medieval harbor. We wandered around the streets and eventually (as always) found ourselves sitting in the late afternoon sun in an outdoor cafe drinking some local libations. From an adjoining table we could distinctly hear a conversation in a distinctly clear American dialect. The couple, now residents of France for 20 years working as teachers, asked us about life in America especially under the reign of Donald Trump. “Quelle horreur”, I muttered. “Quelle horreur”.

What a meal. For Teresa’s birthday we went to a three star Michelin restaurant on the bay front of La Rochelle. 13 courses later. Most interesting: the course served on the backs of our hands (invariably described by moi as; “The Slurpee,” or the “The Back Hander” or “How Cheap Do You Have To Be To Not Have Enough Plates?”) . Most courses tiny but made from local foods and seafood. It was the first time I’ve ever seen tweezers as an eating implement. Quite incredible.

July 17, 2019

We left Isle de Re in the morning heading north towards Paris where we will depart in a couple of days. Google’s route took us off the freeway and onto a 2 lane highway for 20 miles. The road, packed with truck traffic, passed thru heavy industrial zones and farms. A roundabout every mile or so. At one of the roundabouts a semi tractor trailer failed to yield and cut me off. I tried to stand my ground since I had the right of way until I looked up and saw it was carrying a giant steel box, windowless and covered with steel supporting ribs. “After you”, I politely said and let it along with a yellow van with flags and flashing lights cut in line. The truck, box and van exited the roundabout in the direction we were heading. The box was enormous, at least 30 feet wide by 15 feet high, and stretched wider than the two lane highway. The driver of the truck took off and sped up reaching speeds of 30, 40 and 50 miles per hour. Traffic coming from the opposite direction had to pull off the road into the grass shoulder and ditches. Cars, semi-tractor trailer rigs, RVs, bicyclists. The truck’s driver careened down the highway flattening signs or anything within the wide box’s reach. The yellow van, lights flashing, trailing behind driving in the opposite lane shielded by the megabox and impossible to see from the oncoming traffic’s panicked point of view. It was the most amazing scene of highway mayhem I’ve seen since driving the Mombasa Highway. After 15 minutes of this chaos the truck, megabox and trailing van found a place to pull over for us and the traffic behind us to pass. I was just glad I wasn’t traveling in the opposite direction necessitating a dive onto the grassy shoulder. We made it back to the freeway finally and in a couple of hours reached our next stop, medieval Mont St. Michel where we will stay overnight.

July 18, 2019

We awoke on the island to the sound of silence. No, not the Simon and Garfunkel version, but the real thing except with about a thousand seagulls sqounking loudly so not so silent after all really. Still, much quieter than after 9 in the morning when the first tourist trams arrive flooding the island with thousands of tourists seeking swizzle sticks. As hotel guests we are one of a very few residents overnight as the last tourist trams depart at sunset and the fortress gates are closed and the surrounding mud flats are flooded.

We got up and headed out to explore the briefly quiet medieval city. From the hotel’s third floor, a restored fisherman’s house, we found a wooden foot bridge 30 feet high that connected directly to the top of the stone rampart overlooking the sea. A secret door closed behind us, locking electronically.

Outside it was gray and misty. The sky matching the stone architecture. We had purchased tickets the previous night for a tour of the Abby and decided to hoof it to the entry gates before the ensuing hordes arrived. After a few thousand stone steps we arrived to the still locked doors, first in line. Teresa remembered something Ibrahim Morgan said to us during our visit to the Giza Pyramid where he secured our first in line position. “You’re first in line today and no one can ever take that away from you.” Seemed so profound then but not so much so now. Maybe it was the power of the pyramids. I know I haven’t had to change my razor blades since then.

Out of nowhere three French Firefighters wearing black boots with reflecting strips passed us on the steps and pounded on the massive wooden abbey doors. “Oh mon Dieu”, I thought out loud! They knocked again but no response. I sniffed the air for hints of fragrant smoke. A third pounding and the sounds of clanking could be heard as one of the doors opened. Apparently the night guard was asleep. The three firefighters slipped into the darkened interior and the door closed again with a much expected thud. Resoundingly. The crowd now forming two lines looked nervously around with some muffled laughs. After 15 minutes both doors were opened. The right door for the visitors needing tickets and our left door for those who planned ahead, of which Teresa and I led.

We entered the now well lit space with no hints of smoke or firefighters. A soft rain started to fall.

Well, the island is now full bore ass to elbow with tourists. In an effort to escape the inescapable crowds, and probably as a result of too many crepes, Teresa suggested we visit a museum we were passing that, as far as our collective translation skills could carry us, was about the ecology of the Mont Saint Michel area. Of course, not thinking all the way thru our cunning plan and before you could say “sacre bleu”, we were whisked into a darkened movie theater where we realized too late that the narration was in French. Well, le duh! 30 minutes later and 20 bucks lighter the movie ended with neither of us wiser as to what the damned thing was about. It did have a nice paper mache model of the island that rose out of a bathtub and everything always sounds better in French but I have no idea what I just saw. I feel like a film critic at Cannes.

A final dinner on Mont Saint Michel before heading to Paris tomorrow to drop off the giant SUV and hopefully passing the dent/scratch inspection review. Football sized omelets at a local famous eatery (Michelin rated again) known for being a must stop for French presidential candidates was the plan. Apparently no one who has not eaten here has been elected since Napoleon. After looking at the size and cost of the omelets (a requirement for patrons to order) I decided to drop out of the race for the French presidency. “There’s still America”, I thought.

After dinner we wandered around in the fading light. We found a functioning chapel lit with devotional candles. We also found an ice cream store. Teresa got her favorite, chocolate, and for me, caramel. We headed to the ramparts to watch the sunset as the tide came in and the tourists went out. Having finished my ice cream cone Teresa made a comment that I ate it too quickly and that, since she loved chocolate more than life, she preferred to eat it slowly. It was just at that moment that I saw a suicidal sea gull dive between me and Teresa. In a split second nothing was left except for some gristle and a cloud of feathers. Teresa stood valient, blood dripping from her hand, chocolate ice cream cone still intact. Never get between a mama bear and her chocolate. I would have thought all seagulls knew that.

July 19, 2020

Having packed early, we caught the first tram off the island. Two days on Mont Saint Michel, we decided, was one day too much. The island is too small and easily seen and enjoyed in one day and night. (We thought maybe we should have spent an extra day or two at the Beverly Hillbillies Mansion in St. Emilion.) Our next destination, Paris. But on the way is Giverny, the village made famous by impressionistic painter Claude Monet located on the banks of the Seine River.

We arrived in the now hot mid day sun and found Giverny crowded with tourists. Lines were already formed with an hour long wait just to see some of the famed locations. Since we still had a few hours driving time ahead of us to get back to the airport to drop off the rental SUV, we decided to grab a quick lunch and walk around briefly to check out the sights.

In an hour we were back in the car heading eastward towards our drop off point. The route taking us from two lane roads to busy and crowded suburban freeways. Along the way we had to refuel and faced the difficulty of finding a gas station given the fact that France apparently does not allow billboards or advertisements along the highways. Taking an exit that seemed, by Google Maps at least, to have a gas station we found ourselves on the wrong side of the freeway with seemingly no way to get to the other side. With more guidance from Google Maps, we eventually found a route that wound us through several office parks and warehouse districts and finally thru a gauntlet of concrete bollards. Squeezing through with a millimeter to spare we reached our gas station, refueled and flew the rest of the way to De Gaulle Airport and the Hertz rental drop off. Relieved at successfully completing our mission, we only needed to find a taxi to take us into the city. Relax, I told myself. The worst of the driving experience is over.

Watch out for these bad boys when driving in France. This speed camera caught me flying back to the airport and, three months after our return, I got a “love letter” from the French government. They are serious about not exceeding the posted speed limit.

We arrived in Paris. The three of us cursing like drunken sailors. Me and the driver in French, Teresa in English. Visions of Princess Diana danced in our heads. As we entered the eye of the hurricane known as the Arc de Triomphe roundabout it was becoming less certain we would survive the final four blocks to our hotel, a half block north of the Champs-Elysees necessitating a left turn, illegal for sure, against four lanes of oncoming traffic quickly heading out of town on a late Friday afternoon. The previous 30 minutes of riding in the taxi, where we had just dropped off the giant SUV at the airport, was as harrowing a drive as it gets. Tires squeeling as breaks were slammed; horns furiously honking as our taxi darted out into fast oncoming traffic; drivers being cut off in adjacent lanes; Teresa and me being thrown side to side when not slamming face forward into the seatbacks in front of us. The driver, an old man (“old man” now becoming an increasingly compromised pejorative given what I see in the mirror these days), jerked the steering wheel hard to the left in front of the quickly moving cars. The oncoming traffic nearly t-boning us as the aggrieved drivers slammed on their brakes and honked their horns. Out of nowhere, another car suddenly appeared to our left taking advantage of our driver’s suicidal maneuver to enter the side street, OUR TAXI DRIVER’S side street, shielded by HIS taxi. With no hesitation, our driver cut him off (“justifiably for once”, I thought) and cursed and honked like a madman which both of us were certain of now. Pulling up in front of our hotel, and not double parking but blocking the entire street, our driver turned around to face us saying, “cash only no card” (likely the only English he knew even though he picked up “gawdammit” from Teresa pretty quickly I have to say). I started to say we didn’t have any cash left on us but Teresa made some magically appear. We wobbled out of the back with the assistance of the hotel doorman and grabbed our bags. “Adios amigo”, I yelled back to the driver. “Go gettem!”

July 20, 2019

Early morning in Paris and time to get up and explore. The night before, Algeria won the African World Cup. We watched the competition on our wall mounted TV cleverly disguised as a mirror. With Algeria being a former French colony, the locals came out to celebrate. We could hear the cheers in our hotel from two blocks away and evidence of the night long celebration was everywhere along the Champs-Élysées.

Walking 4 blocks we arrived at the Arc de Triomphe. It was early and the Arc was still closed. Dozens of large packed tour busses orbited the roundabout. Teresa surveyed the scene and suggested we skidaddle and purchase entry tickets online. Brilliant! A quick search on the phone and half a dozen clicks later an email arrived bearing two bar codes, our passes to the front of the line when we return.

We headed south looking for the coffee shop we found. A couple of cuppas later (why is a simple gallon sized cup of coffee so difficult to find?) we were on our way southward again heading towards the Eiffel Tower. Having been here a couple of times before in the last four decades it’s sad to see what it has become today. Now ringed by bullet proof glass and artfully done barbed wire you can no longer just wander up and under the tower and gaze up in amazement at the structure from its dirt base. A monument designed to herald a technologically promising future swallowed by a monument to evil insanity. Such is human nature.

Continuing on we headed southward into the adjacent linear park and took some pictures and decided to turn east to visit the Rodin Museum. Along the way we passed the Hotel des Invalides. From my understanding, a retirement home for injured soldiers from some of France’s adventurous days in the 17 and 1800s as it tried and failed to build an empire. Imagine, a country paying for and helping its citizens who fought for its benefit.

The Rodin Museum was nice and quiet. No tourist hordes. Rodin’s work is beautiful and textured, matching the painting styles of the day, Pointillism and Impressionism. We found his famous “The Thinker” outside in a garden. After exiting the museum we decided to hop on the subway to head back to the Arc de Triomphe. Entering the passageway under the roundabout we could see a line of at least one hundred people waiting to buy tickets. Bar codes in hand we sailed to the front of the line and started our climb to the top up the never ending spiral stairs. Reaching the terrace on the top we enjoyed the views of Paris, seemingly clean and safe despite the endless police and ambulance sirens wailing below in the background.

Now exhausted, we headed back to our hotel a short distance away. In our room on the bed lay a package. Teresa’s wallet found by strangers in Arles who called upon its discovery and offered to return it by mail. An act of kindness from strangers. Such is humanity.

As evening approached we decided to find a local restaurant with the help of our reliable friend, Google Maps. Les 110 de Taillevent Paris. Franco-American Fusion. First time I’ve had a dessert that had to be melted before your eyes to reveal the one and only TRUE dessert. A real religious experience, chocolately speaking. As the waiter said, “Just wait.” Oh, mon Dieu!

July 21, 2019

Our last morning in Paris, we headed out early again with a full itinerary. Our first destination a bakery to the northeast and a section of Paris that neither Teresa or I had been to. Our first selection a recommendation from Tracey Anderson. Sadly closed on Sundays. Teresa found our second in the hotel magazine. The French Bastard (the name of the bakery, not our taxi driver) was located near the Bastille.

We hailed an Uber and enjoyed a quiet Sunday morning ride with a driver possessing a full bag of marbles. The neighborhood was far from tourists and was calm with local middle class folks taking care of business in an ordinary way. We proficiently ordered coffees and eclairs, the best ever, and were on our way shortly heading south towards the Bastille where I hoped light crowds would make ticket purchasing an easy task.

The route took us down a wide boulevard that is built over an underground canal. In the middle, parks with gardens and playgrounds. I told Teresa on our next Paris visit we should stay in a real Paris neighborhood like this one so as to avoid all the tourist trappings. Maybe an AirBnB.

In a couple of blocks the park in the road median was replaced by a busy market. It was packed. Everything was for sale here. Foods, clothes, records, shoes, spoons. The smells were incredible and good; fresh olives, meats grilling, fragrant flowers. This is the way to shop. Local business owners and no corporate chains.

Up ahead past the market was the Bastille. In excitement I rushed forward only to discover that the Bastille Prison (and its tours) is the same as the Alamo Basement (and its tours). Nada. As the suddenly being read guide explained, the prison was torn down during the French Revolution and “nothing remains”. This was my “Peewee Herman Goes to Paris” moment. I began singing, “Deep in the Heart of Texas”. Quickly putting aside disappointment, we continued south and around the Bastille Monument, a column of stone with a gold statue on top that’s been closed for repairs since 1985. Just how long can it take to repair a stack of stones?

Continuing south of the Bastille, the road we were following opened to the underground canal filled with boats. I tried, successfully, to recover from my disappointment at not seeing the severed embalmed head of Marie Antoinette in a plastic cube. “There’s still the future and new opportunities”, I assured myself.

We continued to the river and crossed at a nearby bridge. At this point we decided to descend to the walkway that ran along the banks of the river. We headed west and followed the Seine to the Notre Dame Cathedral passing more open air markets along the way. Teresa bought spoons. 6 of them.

As we approached the cathedral, it was both sad and interesting to see it up close. Amazed that it stood, still, though now covered with plastic and braced by heavy timber supports as restoration starts and plans are made for its reconstruction. My hopes still in place that the French will provide a new layer of history that reflects our current time. Something maybe utilizing the latest technologies. From what I’ve read, though, it seems the conservatives of France will have their way and it will be rebuilt to the exact specifications from its last reincarnation following the French Revolution.

It was now early afternoon and time to find a Brasserie in the adjacent Latin Quarter. A grilled ham and cheese or at least the Parisienne’s interpretation of one. And a Coke with ice. 3 cubes. Following lunch we headed uphill to the Pantheon at the heart of the left bank and the University of Paris. A leftist’s dream come true. A quick reading of Trotsky and we headed back, via the (Socialist Funded) Metro, to our tourist arrondissement.

Such an amazing final event to the last two weeks of travels. At the Atelier des Lumieres, in my new favorite neighborhood … the 11th arrondissement, a 21st century exhibit of Van Gogh. Animated images of his artwork projected in various spaces on the walls, floors, mirrored rooms, water filled pools and bodies of hundreds of viewers (Parisiennes in this case … c’est bon!) accompanied by great soundtracks. Who knew Janice Joplin would be such a great paring with Van Gogh’s sunflowers. Sacre bleu et tres trippy!

Amazed by the experience of Atelier des Lumieres, we walked back to the Metro station taking the long route through the nearby neighborhoods. Spotting a few tables outside a corner bar, we sat down for a glass of wine and to reflect on all the incredible sights and experiences of the last two weeks. The 11th arrondissement is not a tourist zone. It was nice to feel the calm and natural flow of activities, authentic and not artificial.

Exiting the Metro station back at our destination, we walked a couple of blocks along the Champs-Élysées in the late afternoon, soft light reflecting off the sidewalk stone. Tomorrow, we return to Atlanta.

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